The Floodwaters are Rising

It's been quite some time since I've written a post lately and I could tell I was due for a good, ol' fashioned mind-emptying by how I've been feeling lately.

I guess I've always been a sufferer of angst and stress to some degree but for the last couple of years, I know for certain that I've been more vulnerable to it with my unstable mommy hormones AND the two busy babes that I wrangle all day.

My trouble as of late is figuring out the balancing act of being a mom, a wife, a self-employed birth worker, a volunteer and well, me.

I went to a really great presentation today by Heather Plante, Pediatric Sleep Consultant and owner of Soothing Angels based out of Edmonton. She came to Fort McMcMurray to speak to the weary and exhausted moms and dads (mostly moms) of our baby-booming community through the 1st Annual Parent Conference. I'm thankful the Fort McMurray Early Years Coalition put together this conference because there were a few things that she said that resonated so strongly with me. Yes, while we were all there to figure out our children's sleep issues, our ultimate goal was to try and figure out how to get more sleep for ourselves and, consequently, be better parents (and people, in my opinion).

If you are a parent, I'm sure you are fully aware of that zombie stage of parenting that sometimes lasts a couple of months or, for some unfortunate souls, years. Maybe you remember it from many years ago. Maybe, like me, you're in the thick of it as we speak and you're one more middle-of-the-night feeding away from wanting to run and never look back (there's a reason I'm training for that 10K)!

Anyway, that's why I went to see Heather.

She shared some great advice and a lot of very interesting information about sleep habits but most of all, she heeded a very important reminder to us moms and dads (mostly moms). When you're in the thick of parenting and you're trying to figure it all out, you can't forget who 'ME' is. Her words exactly: "You HAVE to remember who Mommy was before Mommy was a Mommy." Period.

THAT was my main take away.

As I mentioned earlier, I knew I was due for a new post. Writing and sending my messages into cyberspace (as random as they may be) are kind of my main outlet really and one I know I don't utilize often enough (guilty!). Writing and blogging is my way to get shit off my chest without having to deal with the uncomfortable face-to-face talk involved in spilling my problems to people. And while I think I make a pretty crappy "blogger" in terms of consistency, direction or thematics, it's really about all I've got some days so for now, if you're still reading that is, I promise cohesiveness one day...ha!

So here I am:

Sitting at the Snye...quiet and alone...having a coffee in complete peace. Passed up a movie date with my hubby and even a Beach Boys concert (crazy, right?) just to sit here and be. To think about and remember who 'me' is and figure out a plan to bring her back from the land of the zombies.

I've felt the stress levels rising inside me lately and knew they were going to spill over soon if I didn't do something.

Settled on the shores of the Clearwater River are huge chunks of ice that oddly resemble the weight of the world on the shoulders of a long, drawn out winter that never seemed to quit. The waters are high and stagnant-looking yet strangely calming. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with levels rising, awaiting that big release.

Jen ~ xo

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